" The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina? Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days.
One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just incase this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door.
By now he was distraught and beating his head against the side of the car.
She asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!
A minister was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. " The old man replied, "I guess." "Is she a good Christian woman? He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings.
Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box for their entire 25 years of marriage. " The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. " Love is holding hands in the street Marriage is holding arguments in the street Doug: I think my marriage is in trouble. Doug: Today I overheard my wife telling a friend she prefers fishing to sex. Mary: "Jill, did you try going to marriage counseling before you broke up with your ex? The idea of our going to marriage counseling would be like asking Bobby Knight to go to anger-management classes!
Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. " A businessman was being interviewed about his life and career when the subject of his wife of thirty years came up.
" A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the object of marriage counseling came up. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.
"The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded for their first love-making encounter. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state.
" "Oh, um, she got fired, too."A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide? "A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.
" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?